Downloaded.

With two little ones tucked safely into bed and the Mrs. snoozing comfortably on the couch, I guess I finally have the chance to drain a little music-oriented prose on my fellow RHT readers. While everyone in my house is dozing peacefully into the night I sit here at my computer with a notion to rant. So rant I will. The target of my angst tonight is our little friend the mp3. Now, before you techy-dweebs out there correct me on the proper "format" I should be referring to, let me stop you right there by saying - I don't care. They all suck. Can we just say it? I mean, I wish as much as you do that this was not so. I am one of the the few owners (emphasis on the word few) of a Microsoft Zune. In theory, this thing is awesome. 80 gig of memory allowing for the storing of hundreds, no thousands of music files. Just imagine (he says as his eyes flash back and forth in a giddy fashion), having all of your music library at your fingertips, stored ever-so compactly in your front shirt pocket!! Plus videos, pics, games and FM radio (this seems like a good time to do that noise Tim "The Tool Guy" Taylor used to do when he talked about his tools). But then, ahhh the reality.

So after spending the better part of one of my Christmas vacations diligently downloading album after album (I once stacked about fifty cd's beside the computer and ripped 'em in one setting, no kidding) into the gizmo - let the new life of musical convenience begin. Everything seems to be effortless - and if you were satisfied with audio quality on par with the audio on the old Bell & Howell reel-to-reel machine videos, then you are in heaven. Ok, the quality isn't that bad, but here is what is.

I'm listening to Eddie Money one day and right smack in the middle of "Two Tickets To Paradise" I get a 2 second replay of the guitar solo at the beginning of the song. Kinda, cut and paste style. That's weird. I'll just skip to something else, after all, I've got 'em all, right here. But it gets worse. Now when the album art comes up on the gizmo's screen, it says I'm listening to R.E.M. only to my surprise, the music is B-52's. (No it wasn't "Shiny Happy People" - just a coincidence). Kinda like that feeling you get when you think you are taking a drink of milk but then realize when you take the drink that its orange juice instead. But wait, there's more. For some reason, the track listing for my new Tom Petty album is in some type of cryptic code. Looks like digitized Chinese writing or something enscribed on a sword from Rohan. Yeah, but you can download free stuff on to that baby, you say. Sure, fire up 'ol Limewire twenty or thirty times. After you spend a month figuring out how to get the inadvertant song title "Girl has screaming orgasm" off your gizmo, and downloaded countless versions of "Superstition" before you get the one that was not recorded live for an Austrian bootleg, you'll wish you could just download a big worm virus and wipe the whole thing clean.

Accessories suck too. Sure, plug that FM transmitter into the bottom of the gizmo and you can play it through any stereo! Again, eyes aglow from the possibilities. Reality - FM transmitters can't transmit anything but crap and if you are trying to use it in your car's stereo they transmit even more crappier (I used that grammatical error to illustrate the crappy-ness). If you've never experienced this hook-up, just imagine me with a stereo playing it into a styrofoam cup that has a string attached to it that stretches to your cup a football field away. Now you have a grasp of the audio quality these transmitters achieve, that is when they are not broken up by static caused by cell phones, electricity, chewing gum and passing gas.

You see - as good as they look, and as great as we want them to be, they can't. We just aren't there yet. We don't realize it, but we are using the antiquated cell phone in a bag, right now. We're in Six Million Dollar Man stage and we need The Bionic Woman. Functionality and able to arouse all of your senses.

It's too much about what it can do than how it can play. Make it better and we will pay.

ps - ipods suck too.

If you don't like Warren Zevon I don't like you.

Sorry about the title. It's just that I’m a little amped about the Bengals draft. Rey Maualuga as a 2nd pick? Sweet. Plus, that cat can grind. That and the three Red Bull and Goose cocktails I had this morning and I'm pumped. I kid. I never drink before noon.

Usually.

Anyway, I’ve had a Zevon jones lately and thought it was time to share. By the way, Zevon Jones would be a great band name, no?

So, let’s talk about my man Warren Zevon. The first time I’d heard of him was back in early ’79 when I was living on West 8th Avenue, just south of The Ohio State University campus. Good times from what I remember. I distinctly recall sitting at a table in the since demolished Serene Lounge, a misnamed establishment if there ever was one. I believe Eddie George’s Grill now sits where the legendary Serene Lounge was located. But as usual I digress. As I sat there enjoying Happy Hour, a buddy came rushing in and said he had tickets to a show up the street at Zachariah’s Red-Eye Saloon. That’s now The Newport for all the youngsters out there (by the way, I may be off on the dates here and there. Hey, it was the 70’s you know). Of course, I asked who was playing, and he told me Warren Zevon. Being the sophisticated music aficionado that I was, I immediately jumped at the chance. O.K., truth be told I’d never heard of Warren Zevon. Seems I’d missed the whole “Werewolves of London” hoopla from a few months prior. Go figure. Long story short, I went, was blown away and became a huge fan. It’s odd but the one clear memory of that night was Zevon mentioning that his dad was named Stumpy. That’s a cool dad name, don’t you think? Anyway, one of my big regrets (among many) is the fact that I never saw Warren Zevon live again.

Here’s some interesting Zevon trivia that is sure to catch Hanif's ear. It seems that in the early to mid-70’s, just before they all hit the big-time, Warren roomed with a couple hip-cats named Buckingham and Nicks. How great would it have been to be there when they brought out the guitars or sat at the piano? Not to mention being in the presence of Miss Nicks. Meow.

Zevon’s music is best known for its wit, humor, and intelligence. A lot of his stuff has historical or political themes, and he was great at putting a wry spin on an otherwise bland topic. I mean, who else would write a song about Roland, a Norwegian who becomes embroiled in the 1960’s Congo Crisis? Warren did when he wrote “Roland, the Headless Thompson Gunner." You never got that kind of stuff from N’Sync, let me tell ya.

Ah, what the hell, let’s get to the music. If you don’t know much about his stuff, here’s a few songs that will give you a good idea what Warren Zevon was all about. They also happen to be my personal favorites.

Excitable Boy - This gem is an upbeat little number about a juvenile sociopath’s murderous prom night. What’s not to like? It’s the greatest sociopath song since The Beatle’s “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer.” It’s been previously mentioned in the well written, fascinating blog entitled “Killer Songs.”

Reconsider Me – Nice, slow, haunting song about lost love. The aforementioned Stevie Nicks covered it nicely and liked it well enough to include it in her box set.

Splendid Isolation – A biting satire against celebrity, but only one cat gets mentioned by name. Dig these lyrics:

Michael Jackson in Disneyland

Don't have to share it with nobody else

Lock the gates, Goofy take my hand

And lead me through the World of Self.

Raspberry Beret – Yep, it’s THAT Raspberry Beret. The song is actually Zevon fronting a little combo called The Hindu Love Gods, which included Mike Mills, Peter Buck, and Bill Berry of R.E.M. Just a great cover of the Prince classic.

Detox Mansion – Great song poking fun at celebrities (again) who go to rehab and act like it’s a living hell for them. This time Elizabeth Taylor and Liza Minnelli get the needle. Pun intended.

Well, I’m goin’ down to Detox Mansion
Way down on Last Breath Farm
I’ve been rakin’ leaves with Liza
Me and Liz clean up the yard.

Trouble Waiting to Happen – Maybe my favorite Zevon song. It’s a simple tune, really, but for some reason it’s always hit home with me. A sampling:

The mailman brought me The Rolling Stone
Trouble waiting to happen
It said I was living at home alone
Trouble waiting to happen
I read things I didn’t know I’d done
It sounded like a lot of fun
I guess that I’ve been bad or something
Trouble waiting to happen.

A couple of months before he died, Zevon was on Letterman (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4 are here). Dave loved Warren Zevon and he'd had him on his show often. Everybody knew Warren was dying, but the guy just carried himself with an air of class and dignity that was remarkable. It was a sad and touching show, and everyone needs to watch it.

Warren Zevon died on September 7th, 2003. He made an album just before he died called “The Wind” and it was damn good. Regarding his coming passing, he wrote a beautiful song on the album called “Keep Me in Your Heart.”

As if we had a choice.

D.J.'s Required Listening: Tommy James & The Shondells

I'm here today to make the case for induction into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame one of the most overlooked, yet covered bands in the history of rock & roll music...Tommy James & The Shondells. Even though they began as a bubble-gum pop band in the early 60's recording the songs of others, by the end of the decade Tommy James had become in his own right one of the top songwriters in the business. James' music underwent a Renaissance Period in the 1980's, being covered by the likes of Joan Jett, Tiffany, & Billy Idol...meaning that he's one rich sumbitch as a result (check that Ritchie Cordell is a rich SOB - read on). Tommy James has the ability to catch your ear in an instant with a catchy hook, and these days no one really knows who the hell he is. Tommy James & The Shondells actually sold more singles in 1968 & 1969 than The Beatles, however. Seriously. That's why we're here at RHT though, so you too can be a know-it-all snob.

1. "Hanky Panky" - 1966. Originally written as a B-Side for another group, The Shondells latched hold as did many garage bands of the day. Interestingly enough, the garage band style erupted as a result of "Hanky Panky's" influence - the song was preceded at #1 by Frank Sinatra's "Strangers In The Night," but followed by "Wild Thing" by The Troggs. The song not only was their first #1 hit, but one of their many iconic tunes. (sorry the video isn't synched well)

2. "I Think We're Alone Now" - 1967. This was during their "bubble-gum" phase, where most of The Shondells songs were written by Ritchie Cordell. You may know the Tiffany version from 1987 better, but I will not show that video on this site lest I have my privileges revoked.

3. "Mony Mony" - 1968. Another Cordell composition, you surely know the Billy Idol version better if you were alive & went to high-school dances during the late 1980's. By the way, nowhere in the Shondells version does "Hey! Hey What? Get laid get f*&#ed!" reverb after every line in the song, I'm quite sure. Another bit of trivia: Idol's version of "Mony Mony" succeed Tiffany's "I Think We're Alone Now" at #1 in 1987, giving the Shondells two consecutive #1's 20 years after they recorded the originals.

4. "Crimson and Clover" - 1968. The first Tommy James original tune to go to #1...and my personal favorite Shondells song. James experimented in the studio a bit as was all the rage those days of psychedelia, plugging his mic into a guitar amp & flipping the tremelo switch to give the vocals their signature effect. Also covered by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts in 1981...and I will oblige the video here, because Joan is cool (& smokin' hot).

5. "Crystal Blue Persuasion" - 1969. Another James composition, which is most assuredly about a "medicinal" experience (James claimed he took it from a passage in The Bible), but a very nice, easy melody to just chill out to. I absolutely love it. Covered by Tito Puente, if anyone is still following along...

6. "Draggin' The Line" - 1971. A solo hit for Tommy James, this song just goes to show if you're in doubt as to "who sings that song," guessing Tommy James is always got a better than average shot at being the right answer.

Well, that escalated quickly . . .

Hey, it's our 1-year anniversary kids! That's right, Rock Hard times was brought to life exactly one year ago today. During that period we've had over 100 blogs, and a few were pretty damn good.

These guys have been the top RHT Contributors: Hanif (28), DJ (24), Shoe (23), SuperVesey (15), EZ (3), JMLifeandTimes (3), Kip to My Lou (2), and legendary blogger Hutch (1). I really believe Hutch signed up with the single purpose of bitching about American Idol and MTV in that one blog.

Our most popular poll? The Most Beautiful Woman in Music. Big shocker there, huh?

Perusing our site stats, I see that we've had visitors from as far away as China, India, and all over Europe. It seems, for some reason, when folks are Googling something rock related, our little site pops right up on the first page.

We're also listed on several rock music sites as a favorite link, which is pretty cool.

One of my favorite stories is the one where some kid in Kansas was doing a school report on the Sign of the Horns and used our site as a reference. Yes, DJ's blog was listed as a resource at the bottom of a JH research project.

At one point we were threatened with legal action by another site called Rock Hard Times. After an emergency meeting with my Board of Directors, we made an executive decision to pretend we didn't get the email. As with most pests, we ignored them and they went away.

The blogs have slowed down a bit lately, so we need to step things up a bit. We're always looking for conributors, so please let us know if you're interested. We're not very particular. Hey, we let Vesey in.

So, we survived a year. Hopefully we can make it through another one. Have a great Easter.

Not Punishing An Artist For His Latter Day Sins....Stevie Wonder Style.

At the risk of losing all credibility in one sentence, I'll say it.

The Jonas Brothers/Stevie Wonder "thing" at the Grammy's was not that bad. It was actually a bit good.

There's a number of reasons for this, but lets take them one at a time. First off, my niece, who is 12, has NO clue who Stevie Wonder is. Which is shocking, to me. My niece IS, however, familiar with the musical stylings of Joe, Kevin, and Nick Jonas. What some saw as an atrocity of music at the Grammys, I found to be enlightening to a younger generation of music fans. When my niece called me the next day, to ask more about the "Guy with the glasses that was singing 'Burnin' Up'", I was thrilled. I don't expect her to dive head first into Songs In The Key Of Life, but lets face it. Stevie Wonder has been getting a critical and commercial BEATING since the 80's. Detractors call this just another lame attempt by Wonder to latch onto something relevant again, much like he did by performing with John Legend just a couple years ago at the same awards (which included the wince-worthy moment of suck-upishness when Stevie stammered while declaring Legend's "Ordinary People" was his "Favorite Song Of The Decade"....cringe....), but let's not forget. This is Stevie Wonder. Stevie. Wonder. I'm not a big fan of just repeating an artists name for instant credibility purposes, but listen. All those kids that think the Jonas kids are so cool? Take 5 years off of the youngest one. Take away his vision. Add another 6 levels of talent. That WAS Stevie Wonder. Young stars in music often get criticized, due to the Disney machine that cranked out the Duff/Montana/Jonas stuff....but lest we forget, Motown WAS the Disney of music 50 years ago. Mass produced, young, pop stars. Was the quality better? well, yeah, but the FORMULA is what I'm poking at here. So, if Stevie Wonder wants to (for lack of a better word. Actually, there's probably a better word, but I just want to use this one...) whore himself out to the Grammys, and every new pop sensation he can latch onto, so be it. Wonder's got 25 Grammy awards, not to mention, do yourself a favor, get "The 12 year old Genius", put it on, and listen to Wonder sing "Fingertips".

I know that all I'm doing here is using an artists past to justify the fact that they're slowly fizzling out, and not doing so with much dignity. I understand that almost every career move since Hotter Than July has been poor from Wonder (Even though, I liked his last record...), but the overall point I'm making is that THIS isn't the performance to be outraged about. Yes, him sucking up to John Legend is pathetic. His hero worship of Alicia Keys is also a bit sad to see. And the fact that he's stayed loyal to Motown seems good from the outside, until you realize that Sylvia Rhone is probably a demon who sucks the life out of every act she can. But this Jonas Brothers thing? Not that bad. Why?

Because it was good. I am not a Jonas Brothers fan. I am a 25 year old man. And I don't date teenage girls. So, I'm not their demographic. But, and I may regret saying this, there's talent there. I know they're the Disney freak show of the hour (And the South Park joke of the minute), but there is talent there. Nick Jonas is 16....yes I had to look that up.....16! sure, he's not polished, and his guitar playing is chunky and error spotted, but the kid has pop sensibility. I don't think he's a "prodigy", as he's been labeled, but there's a future there. I mean, Kevin Jonas, at 21, might just want to cut his losses at this point...but Nick and Joe could do something. I'm not giving one of those Jon Landau, "I've seen the future of rock" speeches. And I'm not saying that the Jonas Brothers are Jersey's next big "thing" (Landau, in that case, would die, be buried, and then roll over in his grave.)...I am saying, though, that after the Grammy performance, I gave their CD a fair, and unbiased listen. And I hated it. BUT, I hated it not because of the packaging, the image, or the general lameness of it. I hated it purely because the songs were horrible. But, there was potential. There were bad lyrics, but catchy hooks. Bad instrumentation, but solid melody. Take the Grammy performed "Burnin' Up"...I mean, come on... 'I'm slipping into the lava/tryin to keep from goin under/you turn the temperature hotter/and I'm burnin up for you'??? No way. But, is that melody/hook catchy, or what?

Point is, they've got the bones. I'll take Nick Jonas in ten years over a lot of mainstream pop acts right now. I read an article where I was shocked to find that he is not only their primary writer, but he also dropped all the right names. Prince, Springsteen, and Bonnie Raitt. Now, the skeptic would just say that some exec at Disney is telling him all the right things, but I don't totally buy it. Why would a 16 year old, currently wearing a ring professing his love for being a virgin be told by an smart disney exec to name drop Prince? Yes, Prince. He of albums such as Lovesexy and Dirty Mind. The kid's got chops. He needs to turn 18 and jump out of the Disney umbrella. Fast. Just remember when N'Sync was out, and Justin Timberlake looked like the next cardboard cutout? John Mayer when he was just another whiny acoustic dude? Mark my words...Nick Jonas may be an unpolished, lamely annoying pop tart for the mass consumption of tweens right now....But give him 8 years or so.

Not to mention, the performance with Wonder wasn't horrific at all. They sung their catchy song, and then took on one of his, and it was exciting to watch. There were corny parts. Clumsy parts, as well. Namely when Stevie takes lead vocals on Burinin' Up, and Joe Jonas thinks it a bright idea to bang loudly and slightly off beat on some waiting bongos in the corner of the stage. Or, when Wonder goes into a harmonica solo, and all 3 brothers surround him on his tiny piano stage, gesturing and yelling....as if he could see them....Not that it was awkward or anything. But, as far as musical disasters the night of the Grammys, it was mild compared to Katy Perry shaming herself in front of everyone with her aerobics act disguised as a performance, Coldplay's shameless drooling over Sir McCartney ("Hey Paul!! We're wearing costumes similar to those in Sgt Pepper, if you hadn't noticed!!!!" Chris Martin...seriously, man? You're Chris freaking Martin. Get a grip...), and the Grammy committee's general makeout session with Plant and Krauss. I mean the album was good...but really....THAT good?

So, when compared with that, I, personally will play devil's advocate, and say that I enjoyed the youthful expression that I saw onstage that night. And let's give Stevie Wonder a break. I mean, I know I'm a huge Wonder fan, but if all else fails....just get every album he made in the 70's, and act like they all came out last week. That's how I get to sleep at night.

Bringing The Midwest Home Again, Nick And Norah, And What To Do When Dying Young Goes Out Of Style.

It's good to be back. Not just on RHT, but back in Columbus as well. Now that all of the moving, settling in, and just general transition has come and gone (and the laziness has faded...), I suppose I'm back. But, in the past two months, I stumbled upon Nick and Norah, and the infinite playlist of which they possess together. Look, let's face it. I'm not shy about it. I like chick flicks. I like them a lot. If I had to list my most watched films of all time, it'd go something like:

1. Love Actually

2. His Girl Friday

3. Goodfellas (And I just watch that over and over to prove that I'm still a man. A man who loves chick flicks, but is also a sucker for the scene where DeNiro and Pesci beat the hell out of Billy Batts.)

And who doesn't love Mike Cera and/or Kat Dennings? So, I forced enough people to watch that with me to make everyone sick of it. But, music + love? how can anyone resist? not to mention, the soundtrack features The Dead 60's ("Riot Radio"), Devendra Barnhart ("Lover"), and Band of Horses ("Our Swords")....so even if you hate the film, you can be cool on the indie rock scene. Which is what we all want anyway. On to the point of this blog...

I thought of what to cover here. Run-DMC getting inducted into the Rock HOF while other important hip-hop pioneers get looked over? Na. Later, maybe. But....A happy 70th birthday. To whom, you ask? Marvin Pentz Gaye Jr. would have been 70 today. Marvin Gaye is much like Elvis, The Beatles, and Bob Dylan for me. I know how I SHOULD feel about him, and his impact...but I'm never sure that I always do. I'm a big soul freak, and an even BIGGER Motown fanatic...but after all that, I've got Otis Redding and Sam Cooke sitting 1/2 and the distance with Marvin at 3rd is pretty large, with Eddie Kendricks flip flopping him here and there. It's not that I don't like Gaye. Because I do. I just think I like the idea of him, and what he promoted, more than the execution of it. I'm solely reflecting on the full scope of him. Cooke and Redding may have been superior to Gaye as far as singing...but Gaye outlasts them as a MUSICIAN. (For what it's worth, if we are to consult the always interesting Rolling Stone "Immortals" list of the 100 greatest musicians of all time, Gaye clocks in at 18, Redding at 21, and Cooke with the lead at 16. Stevie Wonder sits as the first Motowner at 15.) So many people have listened to the album "What's Goin' On"...but a lot of people haven't truly HEARD it. The message in the album still lies as important, and what's more important is the age old legend of how Berry Gordy, probably the greatest "Record man" to ever live, almost killed the record before it even came out. America doesn't like it's sex symbols to be dark, and introspective. Matthew McConaughey won't be doing Shakespeare on Broadway anytime soon. But, Gaye was already pretty dark, and with the death of Tammi Terrell, he just went deeper. And to be honest, where would Motown be without this album? Stevie Wonder, your career is welcome. For all of Wonder's great, GREAT conscious 70's records, that in my opinion, far surpassed What's Goin' On from a creative standpoint, wouldn't have existed had it not been for Gaye laying that foundation first. If you're a record freak, yeah, the first side is great. But the second side, with those three tracks ("Right On", "Wholly Holy", and "Inner City Blues") right after each other? I don't think a side of an album gets any better than that.

Still, my favorite Gaye album will always be the severely underrated Let's Get It On. Don't think it's underrated? ask almost anyone to name another track off of the record besides the title track. It's a tough album to grasp, mostly due to the sexually explicit nature of most of the lyrics. But this is where his music and creativity peaked. Listen to the title track on headphones. And if you have the extended version, check out Uriel Jones on the drums...and strings! there's strings on a Motown record! It's amazing. And the song builds. To the point near the end where Gaye is no longer asking to "get it on", but DEMANDING. And the common misconception is that Gordy hated What's Goin' On, and forced Gaye to make a more commercial album, but there's still politics, mixed in with all of that sex (which actually doesn't seem as fun as it sounds.) On the track "Get it on Pt. 2", Gaye drops the line, 'won't you rather make love, children/as opposed to war, like you know you should'...when faced with those two options, he makes it seem so simple.

I like his later stuff. I do, I know it's not popular, but I like the albums like I Want You, and Here, My Dear. I remember when Camp Lo came out with the Gaye Sample dripping album Uptown Saturday Night, where they took the cover art from I Want You, and I thought that was the dopest thing ever. Like all lovers, he lost his sense of idealism when he became heartbroken, and he became bitter and a bit cynical, and you can hear it in his later work. And that's what's more important. Marvin Gaye wasn't some positive dude...he was dark, and pretty disturbed, but he was also, at heart a sexual icon. A crooner in the same way that Sinatra was.

Here's a last thought on Gaye. He did it all while being probably the worst dancer on Motown's roster (Stevie Wonder doesn't count....)... A roster that placed an emphasis on appearance more than anything. The Temptations had better clothes, Diana Ross had more glamour, and Smokey Robinson had all of the writing ability. But acts like Gaye (And another Motown gem, Martha and the Vandellas), kept Motown close to the streets of Detroit. Close to the inner city movement, which is what inner city labels need. Def Jam's current bosses should take notes.

So, happy 70th Marvin. We'll get it on for you. I mean, if that's the kinda thing you're into. I might just cuddle up and watch Nick and Norah's infinite playlist.