Under The Table Vol. 3 - Guilty Pleasures

So, us guys were just kind of milling about here at RHT, waiting on someone to start up the coffee pot. Typical everyday stuff, you know...going over yesterdays sports scores, talking lawn care. Then Consuela, our operations manager (cleaning lady - yes, that's how we roll) saunters by, flips the switch on the coffee pot (Hanif had already loaded it last night - he's crafty like that) and asks us if we'd seen last night's American Idol. Of course, we all reply, "Hell no - we don't watch that crap!" and laugh (Dean: not so comfortably) while going over the prospects of where LeBron will be plying his trade next year. Consuela says, "Ju guys suck. Ju know ju watch dat stuff. Don't even tell me ju don't watch dat "Dancing Starsss" on de TV. Ocho Cinco? I hear ju talking 'bout him all de time." Little does she know Chad is an afterthought really after checking out the latest Cheryl Burke ensemble, but she has a point. We're guarding. Heck, we're all dudes, right? So she leaves with that know-it-all smile trailing her out of the room (watch it, you're up for evaluation in a month, chica) and we commence to dismissing the elephant in the room.

Fess up, boys...what's your musical guilty pleasure? What's that one song or artist that if it pops up on a road trip with your boys you would incredulously exclaim, "How'd that get on there? Meddling kids!" What's that one song you'd be most embarrassed to be exposed having a Tom Cruise "Risky Business" moment on? What's that cassette or 8-track you keep hidden when company is over? EZ, confident in his manhood, speaks up first...



EZ - Right off the top of my head, here are a few...I'm not really embarrassed about them to be honest because they are what they are...also, in no particular order:

1) Michael Buble'- ever since I was a kid, I always likes the old Vegas scene, the crooners like Sinatra, Andy Williams, Dean Martin...there's not too much of that floating around anymore but I enjoy Buble'... have I bought any records or mp3's..? No. Bought tickets to a concert? No. Do I get sick of hearing the same song play on the radio 3-4 times a day? Yes...but I do enjoy his music.

2) I have a guilty pleasure of telling anyone within ear shot of how much I hate Creed, Nickelback, Shine Down, and all the bands in that shitty genre...I'd say it happens at least once a day here at work.

3) Whatever that Miley Cyrus song is where Jay-Z is on the radio and Brittany is on the radio...I kinda dig that song. Not sure why, but I dig it.

SuperVesey - My musical tastes are broad to say the least. As I look at my collection I notice everything from Walter Brennan, to Dropkick Murphys, Kid Rock, Johnny Paycheck, Metallica, etc. However, I guess if there is one that I seem to have to defend the most - its the Jacko albums. Even after his post-humus reclamation of his kingship, something about a grown man cranking up Michael Jackson just isn't the "coolest" thing to do. Maybe its the pedophile connections, maybe its all the surgery, maybe its Bubbles - dunno, but a stiff dose of "Man In The Mirror" just doesn't play right in an SUV full of men headed to the game - ya know? Just leave me alone, stop pressuring me, it makes me want to scream.

Hanif - I don't know if any of my guilty pleasures are flat out unacceptable anymore. There was a time where I liked stuff that was just flat out socially uncool in my music elitist circles. But, now...that same stuff seems to have this ironically cool quality. Taking a look at the first 3 that come to mind:

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE: I loved his first solo album. I disliked N'Sync, but you could always tell that he was the talented one. I became a fan of his solo career when it was uncool and untrendy to be one, when he was still battling the N'Sync stigma. And then, Futuresex/Lovesounds came out, he had a few hilarious guest stints on SNL, and just like that. It's cool, and socially acceptable to like Justin Timberlake. One of my super music nerd friends, one who has "I only listen to everything that no one has ever heard before" written all over her, came up to me just last week and said, "Hey, have you ever heard Justin Timberlake's first solo album? There's some pretty good stuff on there..."

I just smiled, nodded, and acted as if I'd never heard it before.

KELLY CLARKSON: Here's the thing. She was an American Idol. So, automatic points are lost for that. However. She was the FIRST American Idol, before the show became annoyingly formulated....I imagine. I supposed I've never watched a full episode. But, the point remains that she can flat out sing. Period. Like no other American Idol winner after her. But, just when I was feeling guilty about my Kelly Clarkson enjoyment, it became very, very cool to appreciate her. Indie bands, GOOD bands started covering her songs (The Gaslight Anthem does a fantastic cover of "I Do Not Hook Up" which seems hilarious, but comes out quite well.), and the hipsters started getting Kelly Clarkson vinyl (a trend that I admit that I latched on to...), and it's no longer a guilty pleasure to like Kelly Clarkson. And I don't look cool when I say that I liked her back when "Behind These Hazel Eyes" was out.

PATRICK STUMP/FALL OUT BOY: Here's the thing. There was a point for me, around (third studio album) Infinity On High, where I just detached from the band Fall Out Boy, and latched on to being a huge, huge Patrick Stump fan. At the time, he was a chubby, nerdy looking frontman, with a huge, soulful voice. And, despite my loyalties to Fall Out Boy, due to the era I came from, and when they became huge, I would run around telling people they HAD to hear FOB's music, not for the band...but just for Stump. Most reactions would be, "Oh, man, get that emo shit out of here"....or some variation of that, followed by threats of physical violence. But NOW, that FOB has long since gone on the dreaded "indefinite hiatus", and Stump KILLED at SXSW a couple of months ago, dropping a ton of weight, losing the glasses, and inexplicably showing off a fresh bald spot while doing killer soul covers....HE'S NOW COOL TO LIKE. People are asking me for Fall Out Boy b-sides these days, wanting to hear more of his voice.

So, In short, I've never had any guilty pleasures that I can call my own. They all become too cool, it seems.

Dean - I'm not embarrassed in the least (ahem) to admit that I jammed to Katrina and the Waves on the way to work as my daily psych-up. The first 15 minutes of that album just put a smile on my face. Same thing with the B-52's and "Love Shack." Am I ruining it by admitting that I turned the volume down as I pulled by the students in the parking lot. They already thought I was weird enough as it was. Little did they know. (wicked grin)

DJ - Well, for me it's that 60's & 70's AM Gold. Pop music that was (and still is) soothing to the ears & to the soul. It takes me away back to a simpler time & place...riding shotgun with my dad in his pickup, sometimes being allowed to take the steering wheel. I remember he got an FM converter kit for that truck radio, and thinking back on it it kinda killed it's soul. That truck was soooo 70's....I wish he still had it.

Anyway...I'm not ashamed to admit that I still pack along some Bee Gees in the ol' ipod. Not the disco Bee Gees, but the harmonious earlier stuff - before Barry found his over-the-top falsetto. "How Can you Mend A Broken Heart," "I've Got To Get A Message To You," "Fanny (Be Tender With My Love)" - that kinda stuff. Sometimes I still soothe my soul after a long, stressful day at work with The Brothers Gibb riding shotgun along with me, while we perform vocal calisthenics.

Shoe - Well, if liking the BeeGee's makes you a nerd I'm totally screwed. But seriously, folks, if you took a look at my collection (10,000 strong in CDs, LPs, 45's, downloads, blah-blah-blah) you'd find just about everything. I just like music. Period. Depending on the mood, I'll put on anything. Sinatra, The Sex Pistols, Snoop, Tchaikovsky (yeah, he's on YouTube), Dierks Bentley, Hank Sr., I really don't give a shit. I look at music as I would a painting. What's cool to one may not be cool to another. That said, there's an artist or two that I'm not exactly proud of tapping the ole' foot to. Hey EZ, that Miley song of which ye speak ?(go ahead, it's OK to click on the link). I've haven't bought it on iTunes yet, but I will say my finger's been on the "buy" button once or twice. Catchy as hell I must say. And Hanif? I must admit that I've never changed the station when "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson pops up (seriously, click on that one for sure). In addition, anyone who thinks Timberlake isn't talented isn't paying attention. Ah, what the hell, I'm going to open up completely. Remember that scene from Tommy Boy when that song by The Carpenter's comes on and Farley and Spade start singing along? That's me. Karen carpenter has the voice of an angel, dammit. An angel! Sometimes I'm just in the mood, what can I say? And oh, by the way. I've seen Manilow in concert. Twice. And I liked it.