Stop Burning Bridges, And Drive Off Of Them (Top 10 Breakup Albums.)

In reading the press so far on Kanye West's ambitious, soon to be released 808's And Heartbreak record (due out in December), those who have heard a couple of leaked tracks seem to think that this could be the most heartfelt, intense breakup album ever. I have not been so impressed, but I am very interested, as this album deals with two breakups in one (West not only buried his mother earlier this year, but his soon to be wife broke their engagement shortly after.....talk about a bad year.), and the fact that it's coming from a hip-hop artist could be interesting. Hip-hop isn't always the best arena to show vulnerability, but if anyone can pull it off, he can. But, since I'm ever the romantic, this got me thinking of the greatest breakup albums ever. The albums that really cut to the core of relationships that went horribly wrong. I think the key here is thinking of what YOU would want to listen to with a broken heart. As long as it's something that doesn't make you want to kill yourself, or anyone else (Joy Division might not be a good idea...), I think it's good. It can be painful, but has to have some fun backdrop to it. So, in considering all of this...here's my top 10, all time albums to break up to. I included no Elliot Smith, because that would just be too easy, and it was hard because some albums have classic breakup SONGS (i.e. "The Lengths" by The Black Keys, or "Tell That Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do" by Fall Out Boy, or possibly the best "It Makes No Difference" by the Band)...but the albums aren't entirely based around failure of love. Enjoy....and try not to cry.

10.) Joni Mitchell - Court And Spark:

Blue is a very good record, don't get me wrong. But, I'd take this one over that one, easily. Blue tends to fall into that 'I might jump off of a bridge' category. It's a great listen, just not when you're already down. C&S makes breaking up fun, and a bit jazzy even. I had this record when I was like 15, and just starting to be doomed by relationships, and I always loved how to Mitchell, everything wasn't all gloom and doom. Mitchell always painted (no pun intended....I actually don't mind Joni's forays into art. What I DO mind is her "I hate music" mindset these days, but that's another issue) the best pictures of the most basic things (in "Raised On Robbery", she sings 'You know you ain't bad looking/I like the way you hold your drinks/Come home with me honey/I ain't asking for no full length mink'), which I think is missing lyrically from a lot of music today. I always felt a lot from this album. I recently purchased it on vinyl, and the guy at the record stores asked if I was "ok". Does anything else need to be said?

9.) Marvin Gaye- Here, My Dear:

This is the hilarious heartbreak record. I mean, Marvin Gaye made (made. Marvin Gaye's dead. His father shot him...) some pretty deep, dark soul music, but I think this may be the darkest album in the Motown catalog. It followed his two "sex" albums (Lets Get It On, I Want You), and goes down as probably his last creatively great record (Ummm...unless Midnight Love is your thing...) The best part of this record is that this is a record detailing the breakup between Gaye and Berry Gordy's sister. So, imagine breaking up with your boss' sister, and then making an album about it. Not to mention, Gaye was nearly broke when he was creating this album, and was forced into creating it just to pay Anna Gordy off the royalties from it. So, in setting off to make a lazy, bad album just for the money, Gaye actually tapped into something, and created a double album of introspective music. This is what divorce set to music sounds like. My dad has this record, and is always quick to tell me that upon it's initial release, it was panned by critics and fans alike. It now sits at #462 on Rolling Stone's list of 500 greatest albums ever. Pain ages well.

8.) Bob Dylan - Blood On The Tracks:

Part of me is just including this because I know that I must. But, another part of me actually does like this album for what it is. I just don't think that it's the best ever. I read where Jakob Dylan, in between not living up to musical expectations, said that this album was the sound of his parents talking. A lot of people mention "Idiot Wind", or "If You See Her, Say Hello"....both great songs, but the gem on this record has to be "Lily, Rosemary, And The Jack Of Hearts". I can appreciate a story like that. Not to mention the overuse of cards, and card game lingo. To be honest, I've been hiding a secret from RHT. Here goes... I am just not a big Bob Dylan fan. This is a generous spot for me, as this, next to Empire Burlesque, is my favorite Dylan record. I was raised in a house where Dylan took a distant backseat to Springsteen, and that's just the way it was. But, Springsteen's best album that would fit into break up category (Tunnel Of Love) can't even touch this. So, for once....I give Dylan credit.

7.) Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?:

Ok, so. Lead singer/songwriter of Of Montreal, Kevin Barnes is depressed. His wife wants to divorce him. He just had a young daughter. With another woman. Oh, and....he's gay. This album is like Joy Division's Closer if New Order were to make it. It's a downer disguised as a dance party. It's fun and poppy, and you might just be too involved in the groove to catch lyrics like ”Come on mood shift shift back to good again / Come on be a friend”, and ”At least I author my own disaster”. This album is line after line about love gone wrong, and wrestling with self doubt, and finding out about yourself. Plus, the kicker...it's got a 12 minute finale of a song, titled "The Past Is A Grotesque Animal". Come on.

6.) Francis Albert Sinatra- In The Wee Small Hours:

Look, lets face it. Sinatra was the man. THE man. Period. But, Ava Gardner was pretty hot. Like, if she was 25 right now, she'd be the hottest woman alive. Frankie left his wife to marry her, and he somehow messed it up, and out comes possibly the first concept record ever made. The album tracks were mulled over and carefully selected as opposed to just jumbles of his hits. I know I stated that a great breakup album shouldn't be all downers, and yes, this album is filled with basically nothing but ballads about isolation, and loneliness at night. But, look...Ava Gardner was hot. And she left him. And she played the perfect catalyst. Sinatra defined American pop music, and the fact that he maintained a level of masculinity through these 16 ballads about how sad he is that he failed at loving the person that he cared about most is a miracle.

5.) Fleetwood Mac- Rumours:

"I know there's nothin' to say/Someone has taken my place"....and with that opening line, Lindsey Buckingham (*ahem*...the REAL talent of the band....) sets us off on a journey of pop heartbreak. Not only is Secondhand News possibly the best track one side one of all time (I rank it as a tie with Jesus and Mary Chain's My Little Underground off of Psychocandy) , but it sets the tone for this record brilliantly. I marvel at the fact that this album was even able to be made. Not just the emotions involved, but the insane amount of cocaine that was probably ingested makes it hard to believe that this album held up so well. Everyone loves a good scandal, and if we can be voyeurs from a musical standpoint, why not? As much as I put down Stevie Nicks' minor contributions to FM, she might have the song on this album that hits the hardest. Silver Springs wasn't included on the original release of the album, but if you get your hands on the re-release, it's sandwiched in there between Songbird, and The Chain. There's not a song on here that doesn't touch somewhere on being heartbroken. Even "Dreams"...the supposed optimist track, is a bit of a downer. This album does it well though, because, as is Buckingham's strength, he (and the band) managed to make the backdrop to these songs kind of fun...."I Don't Wanna Know" is almost uplifting, until you hear the lyrics. And this started a cycle. Buckingham's cocaine-fueled paranoia-filled relationship failure inspired pop continued for years to come (more later...)

4.) Weezer - Pinkerton:

Yeah, we all know that Weezer sucks now. I won't turn this into a "what happened to Rivers Cuomo's songwriting?" thing, rather I'll just recall a time when Weezer was at least decent. I think this album helped to invent what we now know as emo. A bit whiny, but I think it dealt with things that we all feel, or at least felt at that age. Falling for the wrong girl, scared to talk to girls....possibly not the "tired of sex" thing, but the rest of this holds up well. Weezer has only made one good album since, so it is ironic that this album is somewhat responsible for the #3 album....

3.) Taking Back Sunday- Tell All Your Friends:

Again, an album that wastes no time getting to the point (The first lyrics on the record are "So sick of being tired/and oh so tired of being sick/we're both such magnificent liars/so crush me baby, I'm all ears")...and I respect that. Again, this album juggles two breakups. The end of frontman Adam Lazzara's relationship with his then girlfriend, and the band itself struggling to stay together amidst scratching at mainstream success. Lyrically, this might be the angriest, but most clever of all of the albums on this list (Since Reznor's Pretty Hate Machine just missed the cut...), and the list is too long to list them all, but as a sampler:

-In "Great Romances Of The 20th Century", the album's ummm. "high" point, Lazzara shouts, "If it's not keeping you up nights then what’s the point?"

-"Ghost Man On Third" simply ends with 45 or so seconds of screaming "This is what living like this does" (which I understand is one of those "you have to hear it to get it" instances, but trust me...it does the trick.)

-And, my favorite, in "There's No I In Team", theres the infamous line "Everything I know about breaking hearts I learned from you/but it's true I've never done it with the style and grace you have/...But I've made long term plans"

The problem that TBS has run into, as I've said before, is that they've tried to make a career out of angry breakup albums, and it has never worked. Lazzara is an effective, charismatic frontman, and a solid lyricist. But angry for like 8 years? over the same breakup? at what point do you just become a whiny wimp?

Nonetheless, we'll always have this. (TBS' new single, "Catholic Knees" is actually impressive. Their latest effort, New Again drops in January. Hope for the best. For my sake.)

2.) Lindsey Buckingham - Go Insane:

All Buckingham did in between Rumours and this record was more of the same. Here's how you can lament failed relationships over and over and not sound like a wimp. Change your angle. On Rumours, he was sarcastic, and sharp. On Tusk, he was arrogant and angry. On his first solo effort, Law and Order, he was optimistic, but careful. And here, he's all of those things rolled into one. Stevie Nicks is no longer the muse, he now takes aim at Carol Ann Harris, who was the latest heartbreak. This is the album that he got closest to touching Pet Sounds and possibly being able to think of being mentioned in the same breath as Brian Wilson. The main difference between Buckingham and Wilson is simply that Wilson is a bit more airy and bright about his darknesses, and Buckingham is straight dark, obsessive, and paranoid...but they both play their personas very well behind lush melodies. Buckingham got inspired by David Byrne on this one as well, and used talkative lyrics in odd combinations with shocking twists. In the album opener, "I Want You", which opens the album with a sharp school bell ring, Buckingham states "I’m a bundle of joy, a pocketful of tears/Got enough of both to last all the years.” What's lost is that in a Songs In The Key Of Life-esque moment, Buckingham plays all of the instruments on this album. The album isn't all about romantic loss though, as it ends with "D.W. Suite"....a three part song to the late Beach Boy Dennis Wilson (who never gets enough credit for his Pacific Ocean Blue album...), which closes out this foray into Buckingham's mind quite well. This album was my number one for years until....

1.) Tegan And Sara- The Con

Ok, so. Tegan and Sara...Canadian lesbian twins. Make a concept album about a failed marriage. First off, although it played no part in the #1 ranking...I love Tegan Quin. I know, I have no shot, as I am, indeed a man. And I also know that yes, they are twins....but Tegan is just the more amazing of the two. She's the talent, and she doesn't have an outrageous haircut 90% of the time, like her twin sister. Anyway...this album does what it should do. When asked about the concept behind the album, Tegan stated "Well, it's because loving someone is a con in and of itself." It starts with the upbeat "I Was Married" with a lush melody, and happy vocals. And it ends with the melancholy of "Call it Off" and the lyrics "Call break it off/Call and break my own heart". And in between, the twins do what they do best, playing with synth melodies, and making you forget that they're sad and they want you to notice. The thing that impresses me a bit about the twins is that they never mention their sexuality, and their songs are virtually genderless ("He" or "She" is simply replaced with "You"), and this takes away the ability to lash out at a specific gender, but instead gives them full ability to lash out at love in general. Again, you forget that this is supposed to be a sad album until the final track (the aforementioned "Call it Off"), which is the ultimate downer. I saw them live in Columbus, and this song moved people to tears. After smiling for an entire album, that leaves quite the impression. As it should have. Most relationships can go from better to worse over time. This one just does it over 12 songs. Teenage lesbians everywhere fell in love with this album upon it's release last year, but it wasn't exclusive to them, as it became T&S' most critically acclaimed record to date.

(Honorable Mention goes to Pretty Hate Machine, and Richard and Linda's Shoot Out The Lights.)

Here's Tegan/Sara performing "Call It Off" on Letterman (Tegan on keyboard....even though Letterman obviously has no clue who they are, and calls her Sara), and also performing "The Con."