Breaking Down the Class of 2010

Well, the announcements have been made. No Rush. No Journey. No Stevie Ray Vaughan. But we got ABBA in The Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame!!! Alright, simmer down. At least the rest of the choices were good. Joining ABBA is The Stooges, Genesis, The Hollies, & Jimmy Cliff. A solid case can be made for each. Well, I'll get to that...

First off, we'll forgive that The Stooges hail from Ann Arbor, MI. That being said, The Stooges basically were to the hippie movement what Nirvana was to hair bands. They basically spat at the notion of an idyllic world of flowers, beads, peace & love. They saw the world for what it really was - one full of disappointment, hurt, and rage during the late 1960's. They didn't live in a dream, the lived in the now. Spawning classics like "No Fun," "1969," and "I Wanna Be Your Dog," The Stooges became the model for what would become punk. There is no other more iconic persona for the pre-punk era than Iggy Pop, hands down.

Genesis is an interesting group that I've learned to appreciate, especially the early Phil Collins stuff like "Abacab" and "Turn It On." Initially finding success with Peter Gabriel on lead vocals as an art/prog band with classics like "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway," Genesis really came into their own after Gabriel left in 1975, and drummer Phil Collins took over on vocals. The group always has had a tightly produced sound, with guitarist Mike Rutherford & keyboardist Tony Banks rounding out the "Genesis" style. I'm not really a fan of the "MTV-era" Genesis, although they did make some great videos like "Land Of Confusion." Should at least make for an entertaining look-see with Phil Collins & Peter Gabriel on stage at the induction ceremony.

As a member of "The British Invasion," The Hollies were somewhat less popular in the States than their English counterparts, but no less talented and perhaps the most accomplished vocally. Even though The Hollies did chart quite as often in the U.S. as they did in the U.K. , they never had a Number #1 song in America. Classics like "Bus Stop," "Carrie Anne," and "Stop! Stop! Stop!" all hit the Top 10 during the Graham Nash era, which came to an end in 1968 with his departure & formation of Crosby, Stills, & Nash. Lead vocalist Allan Clarke remained and The Hollies reached #2 in 1972 with an all-time favorite of mine, "Long Cool Woman (In A Black Dress)." Ironically, Clarke left the group after recording the song in 1971, but did an about-face after learning of the song's success & rejoined The Hollies in 1972.

It is hard to say that Bob Marley followed anyone's lead, especially in reggae music, but follow Jimmy Cliff and capitalize on his success is what he did indeed. While I'm not as up to speed as I should be on my reggae, at least I and everyone else knows Jimmy Cliff, and I was surprised that he wasn't already in the RRHOF, actually. He differs from Marley in that his vocals & style takes on an almost lamenting, gospel feel; whereas Marley & The Wailers had a more confrontational, brute force in their delivery. Cliff is perhaps most famous for his role in and soundtrack for the 1972 movie The Harder They Come, which popularized reggae all over the world. Cliff's work has been covered enumerous times, especially "Many Rivers To Cross." Cliff became popular with a younger, wider audience in the 1990's with soundtrack work, including a cover of Johnny Nash's "I Can See Clearly Now" from the film Cool Runnings, and "Hakuna Matata" from The Lion King.

And then there's ABBA. Forgive me, but even though I had a crush on Agnetha when I was a kid and they remain a guilty pleasure of mine thanks to my parents' upbringing, I can still boldly say they do not belong in the RRHOF. Sorry, I may sound cruel but they are way too "poppy" for this crowd. Even though for a period in the mid-seventies they were a worldwide phenomenon, the music was not all that great either. It was what it was. "Dancing Queen," "Waterloo" and "Fernando" are now enshrined with "Blowin' In The Wind" and "Atlantic City," folks...deal with it. "S.O.S." was a good enough song, but I'm thinking this induction was purely an apologetic gesture to the Swedish people, since Tiger Woods has been such a dick to Elin and all. I dunno maybe I'm the delusional one here?

10 Things That Made Popular Music Better In 2009, Part II. (Or, Taking Suggestions From Girlfriends.)

Ah, so here we have it. The toppermost of the poppermost. Somewhat. I talked to the only 3 friends that I have today (I actually only have 1 friend, and I just found two random people on Facebook to (s)talk to.), and they all agreed on one thing: Music in 2009? slump. How could I even argue that there were 10 great things in anything in music this year? Well, because I'm a supreme bullshitter. And one that loves music. But I also believe my own bullshit, so I buy everything I write. And let's be clear, I could squeeze TWENTY things that made music great out of 2009. And I can hopefully make the more cynical understand that yeah, this year was a bit of a downer after a fantastic 2008, but man. The good? It was fantastic.

The top 5 things that made music a wonderful place to be in 2009.....

5.) The Blackroc Project: No, You're Not The Only One That Didn't Think It Would Work. - First off, Akron is the third greatest place in Ohio, next to Columbus and Tiffin (Yeah. Tiffin. What up, Jolly's root beer?), so that means that in my mind, Akron is the third greatest place in the world. Even before the Black Keys decided do turn the lights out on '08 with the KILLER album Attack & Release, Akron birthed Chrissie Hynde, Devo, John Lithgow, and my buddy Steve. So I loved it. That said, I was a bit shocked, and mostly confused, when I read that the Keys were hooking up with Dame Dash and Jim Jones to record a collaboration, I was all like, "Dude...." I mean, we're talking about The Black Keys, right? And we're talking the same Jim Jones who thought THIS song was a good idea to leave the cutting floor??? (seriously, take in how ridiculous that video is for a second. I don't drink, but I just see all of that as an EPIC waste of alcohol. Tiger Woods' wife could be using that.) Plus, look, I'm no prude. But I don't want your rock in my hip-hop anymore. And I DEFINITELY don't want your hip hop in my rock. That never works, and no amount of Limp Bizkit records could suggest otherwise. But this worked. It worked fantastically, and see, I'm an idealist. I have a Martin King-esque dream that one day, there'll only be one genre, so that we can get away from generalizations, negative stigmas, and REALLY get back to music. Now, I know this Itunes generation won't let this happen, but this is a step. And it's not a joke, like T-Pain mashing up with Taylor Swift, this is seriously good music. I had people that never even LIKED rap come up to me and tell me they loved this record, and where oh where could they get a copy of the last Mos Def album? Look at what this does. We're using music to break down barriers, and I'll spare you the "music can save the world" crap, but don't underestimate how the quality of this record helps everyone. When you take people out of a musical comfort zone, and convince them that there's good to be had in other mediums....you've done well.

4.) Mixtapes: Not The Ones That YOU'RE Making. The Ones That THEY'RE Making. - I'm not into mixtapes, let me say that right now. I usually don't want to hear throw away rhymes over recycled beats, it's that simple. But what Drake did with February's So Far Gone was unheard of. Unsigned artists don't release mixtapes that get so much buzz that they not only get said artists signed, but then get the mixtape re-released as an ALBUM? and the record was that good, look, Drake is the future. Whether that's immediate, or it will take time and the downfall of some of the larger rappers on the food chain, Drake is the future. And I didn't want to cop to that at first, mostly because, well.....Drake was in Degrassi. And while shit got real on Degrassi, I didn't buy him crossing over from Canada to America so smoothly. But after the mixtape, he crushed any doubt, sparked a (albeit pretty inexpensive...) bidding war, and had a deal by summer. So, rappers stepped up the mixtape game. Gucci Mane got out of jail just in time to release what seemed like 12 mixtapes this year before going right back to jail (Though I'm not a fan, it must be commended.) Young Dro and Lupe Fiasco put out mixtapes that were two of my favorite of the year, and the would-be mixtape king, Lil' Wayne released the best effort since Da Drought 3 with the somewhat scattered No Ceilings. Even rock artists considered the mixtape game, and after this, how could they not? As long as mixtapes are used properly, and don't become avenues to use your best lyrics to get street appeal, it's perfect for building anticipation for a release. Can I not wait to hear Lupe's new album now even more? You bet. He's aiming to release another one on Christmas. Joy to the world.

3.) Animal Collective Are Probably The New Beatles: Thank Goodness You All Are Finally Taking Notice. - My feelings on Merriweather Post Pavilion aside, it served as the light bulb album for the music listening public. It's got the sound of Brian Wilson trying to be Paul McCartney, and if you think that's unintentional, then you're not paying attention. I want a band that's shamelessly trying to be OUR beatles. Yeah, your generation had Beatlemania, and I'm really happy for you (resisted the urge to type "And I'mma let you finish" right after that. I know I just typed it there, but that was more for informational purposes, and not to capitalize on that worn out gag.), but we don't need it. What WE need is a band that listened to Beatle records over and over and isn't ashamed to blueprint their sound. Yeah, I know the Panic at the Disco guys gave it a good run, but they're over, and Animal Collective does it far better. This is everything. This is psychedelic folk, straightforward rock, bubblegum, fun for the kids, scary for the parents, makeout music, save the world music, and Idon'talwaysgetitbutdon'tstopmenow 'cause I'm on a roll and these guys are fucking geniuses. Period. They're not going to have the world in the palms of their hands like the Fabs, but they probably don't want that. They'll never be bigger than Jesus, but if you listen close enough, you might find him in their music anyway. And I love the Gaslight Anthem more than them, but so what? I love Springsteen more than the Beatles. This is no longer about what I love, it's about what blows my mind enough to make me feel good about where music is right now. And if these dudes want to shamelessly rip off the Fabs, then do it, and screw all that tell you it's not worth it. Merriweather is the best pure pop record America has produced in some time. And that's all we've ever wanted.

2.) Clipse : Virginia's Cocaine Kings Get Humble, Get Remorseful, And Save Rap. Again. - There has maybe never been a more critically acclaimed rap group than Clipse. The Thornton brothers have released 3 albums, all 3 have been lauded by everyone....EVERYONE in the press. I mean, Christgau LOVES these guys. So why have they never even gotten so much as a grammy nod? Why are they not world famous? Here's the thing. To say that they're gritty....well, that's an understatement. Christgau said it best when he said, "The way they paint it, music is just pocket money to them...", they're no secret to the lucrative life of drug dealing, and unlike Jay-Z's drug dealer made good, they spent their first two albums playing the drug dealer gone into reality, not liking it, and fighting with getting the life back. These dudes? they're raps Lou Reed. But grimier. Yeah, even more street, even MORE grimy than describing a heroin trip. They're not talking about taking a needle and putting it in you, shit, they're not even talking about taking a BULLET and putting it in you. They're talking about taking a PRODUCT and putting it in you, and your community, and tearing everything down for the almighty dollar. And not being remorseful for it. Did I condone the content? No, but I, and every other critic worth their salt, loved the honesty, the feeling of needing a shower after hearing one of their albums. And then the life caught up to them. Their friend and ex-manager was arrested, and charged with leading a $10 million drug ring, tearing Virginia's streets apart, and getting some more of the duo's peers put away for a long time. So we catch up with the Clipse guys on the release of this month's Til The Casket Drops expecting more horror story lyrics about the violence and greed of the drug underworld. But what we get instead? Guilt, remorse, honesty. In the first track, "Freedom", Pusha T spits, "I guess I don't feel nothin'/I've been numbed by the will to gain", and his brother Malice has some regrets of his own...."How was I to know, I was happier when I was piss poor....", and after the end of the guitar drenched track, Pusha yells. Oh, does he yell. "What more do you want from us??? We lost love, we lost family behind this shit!!! what you call music, we call life! DO I ENTERTAIN YOU MOTHERFUCKER?!?!?! WELL DANCE, THEN!!". And normally, I'd cast off such rap bravado as annoying posturing. But you can hear something in his voice. This isn't "my Dad can beat up your Dad"....this is "Wow....we're deep into this, and look at what we've done, and I'm a fucking mess, because I don't know how to make any of this right". Rap has been void of this kind of honesty for a long time. And yeah, there's stuff like "Doorman" where it's boasted, "Cocaine bought me everything I ever had", and you roll your eyes a bit, but it's so few and far between. This is the sound of a group coming to terms with life after going through their version of hell. All 13 tracks are a release of anger, you can hear the tension, the frustration...no, the unbridled rage, at one point Malice growls out the line, "I miss my man, I hope those snitches burn in hell"....and you believe it.

Look, I'll never condone the content, but I'll take the passion. They've got it in spades. No one in rap has done what they've done. And with this album, they're finally getting it. Anyone can be the king of the streets if they're on the right block. But when that crown gets heavy, and boy, it gets heavy....do you take it off? Or do you lighten your burden by taking some of the weight (literally and figuratively in this case) off of you, and put it behind you? Having the courage to do the latter is what makes Clipse worthwhile. Grammys, you paying attention?

1.) R&B Is Back: Robin Thicke, The Dream, Trey Songz, And The Return Of Babymaking. - It's official. The Dream, in this writers estimation, is a genius. Not only did he have the album of the year, he knows when to fall back and admire his work. R&B hasn't gotten critical acclaim like it's gotten this year since....when? 1999? I mean, I went so far as to declare the genre dead. It mixed so much with hip hop, and not in a fun way. The Thong Song killed all chance that R&B may ever be taken seriously again. But this year, it all came back together. Maxwell came back, and blew everyone away with an album, only to likely vanish again by this time again next year, Robin Thicke's wife is incredibly, incredibly hot, which has very little to do with this, but needed to be said, and Alan's kid has been having the kind of output the past few months that will make sure that some children will be born next summer. Trey Songz took the tasteful hip-hop/R&B route, taking handfuls of rap beats, and putting his own rap/sing mix over them, which, was shockingly impressive. And The Dream...oh, The Dream. He's got the vocal range, the production ability, and the pen. He's probably written your favorite song, but he saved the best for his gem of an album. Hey, what has soul and/or R&B been all about since the dawn of Motown anyway? dressing slick, talking slicker, and having the audacity to walk in and steal your girlfriend, because you won't mind losing to a guy that cool anyway. We got back to the basics. Sure, we could dial down the sex just a bit, not in quantity, but in lewdness. But we're building the genre back up, sure, Boyz II Men aren't walking through that door (at least not ALL of them, though they were in Dublin this year for the fireworks. Sick.), but R&B is back. I mean, FULLY back. It went from life support, to the top. Because these new R&B artists all started out as songwriters. So they've got the chops. They just needed the platform. And I like where we're going from here. Lock up your daughters.

(Your sons will probably be cool, they might get a girlfriend, but The Dream, or some other R&B star will just steal her at the end of the day, so everyone wins. Kind of.)


Thanks for tuning in to the series, and I can only hope that 2010 is as exciting and thought provoking as THIS year in music was.

10 Things That Made Popular Music Better In 2009, Part I. (Or, Taking Suggestions From Girlfriends.)

Now, in case you're not thoroughly depressed and/or snowed in, let's liven it up a bit. Look, music isn't dead. It isn't dying, and I'm not cynical enough to think that all was bad. I'm a bit of a pop apologist, so while I can't promise to dial down the gushing, I promise that these next 5 things will only enrage some people 1/2 as much as my previous 10. Oh, and as far as tracking my mood on Tiger Woods-fest? I'm so over it. What a difference 3 days and 2 pornstars can make? Anyway....


10.) Lady Gaga: See What I Did There? - This isn't hypocritical, it's reality. Whether or not she does it for me, she is an important cog in the next evolution of solo female pop. I dislike her holding the torch, trust me. But I don't see anyone else willing to take the backlash along with the accolades. Who? Miley Cyrus, outside of also being horrible, has paper thin skin, Taylor Swift, adorable as she may be, isn't crossover enough (unless we're taking this seriously?), Hayley Williams is tied to a band (and not a very good one at that), and all of the rest are either too indie, too old, or too anti-everything to be taken seriously. What music, on the whole, has been lacking since the demise of Britney, and I mean the REAL demise of Britney, the one that affected her musical standing JUST enough, is a brash, (forced and copied, but....) unique, and entertaining solo female pop artist. The guys are fine. We've got Justin Timberlake, if all else fails. And, going back to the point I made the first time around, Gaga's got some musical chops, I don't think many....but Spears had NONE, and Madonna had misguided ones. And Gaga doesn't seem to intentionally play to her sexuality (look, I'm not going to stoop to making a joke off of rumors here, I've got slightly better taste than that, sometimes) as much as people expect. Now, she's not a nun, but she's also not making videos where she's pretty much being held up by a stripper pole while groaning inaudible lyrics. (Britney jokes aside, hat tip to Danja on that track. That beat is infectious.) The point is, I don't get Gaga, and I don't care for her.....thing. But I'm also smart enough to know what's good for music. And she's got the goods. I'm not buying....but I'm one of few. And that's good enough.

9.) Movie Soundtracks: Oh, Yeah. They're Cool Again. - First off, I'd like to dedicate this to 80's teen flicks. Because every one made....the music was spot on. They made me appreciate the film soundtrack more than anyone else. (Oh, and yes...I do own a vinyl copy of the Pretty in Pink soundtrack. So?) It's not even about setting a tone for the film, your epic film should do that on it's own. It's about getting a bunch of cool artists from past eras that the kids today will appreciate, so I can impress some girl outside of the movie theater by schooling her on my extensive Morrissey knowledge. So, in essence, movie soundtracks have to be good, or I'll never get dates. This year, more than any other, movies made digging in the crates cool. 500 Days of Summer, while an evil movie, that left me heartbroken and shattered for weeks, mixed Regina Spektor with the Smiths and Simon & Garfunkel almost effortlessly. Pirate Radio? mixed my new overseas crush of the year, Duffy, with the Kinks and Otis Redding. (And, by the way, how can you not just adore Duffy? She's Welsh, has the swag of Dusty Springfield, and she's so cute. She got robbed at the Grammys. Adele, I'mma let you finish.) Not to mention the bang up job that Karen O did on the Wild Things soundtrack...look, we're no longer looking at movies and tuning out sound. Movies are now the things that remind us, "Oh! I've got to download that song when I get home!" And I love it. When the Coen Bros took the soundtrack out of No Country For Old Men in 2008, it was genius. Now? I could always take more music with my films. Even Adam Sandler had a good serious contribution to a soundtrack.

8.) Autotune: The Good, The Bad, And The News. - Autotune had long been out of hand, though with Kanye West's 808's & Heartbreak late last year, it probably hit a peak this year. The thing is, with West, that was partially tasteful autotune at first. He knew when to get a normal haircut again, and get back to the business of murdering Jay-Z on Jay's own track. The rest of the world didn't seem to catch on to the trend of stopping, prompting the aforementioned Jay-Z to go partially crazy, grow a weird afro, and record the now famous track "D.O.A." (Death of Autotune), which was all hilarious. And then, best of all, we got parody. Oh, did we get parody. That = equally hilarious. ("Am I crazy, am I trippin' on shrooms...or are you singin' about pimpin' on the late night news??" Come on. That is pure gold. PURE.) The thing is this. What is music, if at some point a hilarious trend can't be exposed to make us all laugh? Never mind the fact that autotune got comically overused. The fact that it got exposed, and has practically vanished, but not before giving us some comic relief, is well worth celebrating.

7.) Emo Dudes Grew Up: And Making Mix CD's For High Schoolers Harder To Make. - Pete Wentz gets married, has a kid, dials down the eyeliner, and subsequently, dials down the cliche' heartbreak metaphors. What happens? Folie a Deux happens. Fall Out Boy's most legit, focused effort since debut Take This To Your Grave nearly 7 years ago. Take the overcomplicated lyrics, and replace them with fun, witty lines that are just as good out of context as they are in context, and you've got it. That album alone showed that it's cool to be emo-turned-happy. Other bands followed suit. Cute is What we Aim For broke up and took their ridiculous name with them, to focus on more "adult" efforts, My Chemical Romance re-went back into the studio to re-craft their Black Parade follow up, and claim that they wanted to make it more "true to rock and roll". And the general mood is up, look, I get it, Chris Carraba is emo's Godfather, so he has to still be a whiny tool, but man....he's still giving it all he's got, and trying...REALLY trying to write lyrics that are more intricate than those in say...."Screaming Infidelities", which I put on almost every mix CD I made for every girl ever in 2002. Not everyone can be influenced by the Cure and make the same records Robert Smith is still making now. Because, face it, Robert Smith is getting to old for this shit anyway. And no one wants to be 40 and screaming. (Although, I still love the Cure, and I'm not sure what that says about me. In a funny twist, Wentz and Patrick Stump remixed a Cure song beautifully. Eh...) So, what did all of this do? This domino effect, simply put, turned some of the younger crowd to other things, exposed the high school crowd to more diverse music, and then..............

6.) Your Kids Are Probably Listening To Better Music Than You Again: Passion Pit, The Gaslight Anthem, Fleet Foxes, And Other Reasons To Have Your Teenager Make You A Mix CD - The new breed of band over the past few years can beat up any other brand from any other year. Just 2 weeks ago, I was sitting in Virginia, in an incredibly thick music discussion, when I was asked who I could confidently say the best band of the past 5 years was. Without hesitation, I responded, "Well, the Gaslight Anthem....easily", and look, it's not even close. I think they're that damn good. And I know I'm biased, they're a Jersey band, and I'm admittedly a Jersey scene fanboy. They pretty much frame everything they do after Springsteen, and let's face it. I like Springsteen just a little bit. But it's not just that. It's the fact that this new breed of band, they're getting back to appealing to the SONGWRITER in us. Yeah, Brian Fallon might think rock n' roll began with Asbury Park and ended with Nebraska, but man, that's where BEST stuff was anyway. And I know, I know...isn't Gaslight copping Springsteen swag the same as Gaga copping Madonna swag?? Maybe, but last time I checked, Madonna couldn't lead music to the promised land. Bruce could. These guys can. (Despite that, they're from Jersey, and they bleed and breathe Jersey, so if they steal some of Springsteen, they've earned it.)

Passion Pit, by all estimations at this point, will be my band of the year. I was never sick of electronic keyboard rock, but even if I was, I'd dig these guys. Their album, Manners, is so worth a listen, it's not even funny. Look, are (at times) 3 keyboard players overkill? hell yes. But, Overkill is the new understatement (where have you guys been?), and they're the belles of the ball. And even if they flame out, I could care less, they gave me the best 2 years ever. Last January, I was outside of the Newport on OSU's Campus, down because the fucking guy at Apollo's gyro place screwed up my gyro again, and these kids, bummed 'cause it was too cold to skate are hangin' around the record shop, and they look me up and down, kids these days, you know? and I wanna know what they're listening to, I wanna know what the kids these days are doing to get their fix of good music, and I don't wanna hear any Lil' Wayne or Backstreet Boys neither. And these kids, they're like, "Man, we're listening to Passion Pit and Fleet Foxes....whattya know about it?" if a possible pre-teen is listening to better music than me (which they probably weren't overall, just at that moment), that's a massive victory for pop music. The crop of bands that have popped up since early 2008 is like the 1997 NBA Draft. Everyone's good. Everyone's contributing. Throw in Florence and the Machine, La Roux, White Lies, the insufferably cute Ting Tings, and a handful of others, and well....The Kids Are (finally) Alright. Again.


(Tomorrow is the final installment, in which we look at 5 things that made the toppermost of the poppermost just delightful in 2009.)

10 Things That Made Popular Music Worse In 2009, Part II. (Or, Well, That Deescalated Quickly.)

So, where did we leave off yesterday? Ok, look, I know I said I wasn't going to track this thing. But all I know is, I went to sleep, and Tiger Woods was at a possible 7 mistresses. I woke up at 10. And now we've got 11??? Listen, people. Me and my bros? We know how to party. Or at least I thought we did. T Weezy is bagging double digits, including some chick from a pancake house and...oh, yeah. ANOTHER PORN STAR. (Though, in that industry, which admittedly I'm not a major in...I feel as though the word "star" is thrown around a bit freely, right? I mean, is everyone a star?)....so the saga continues. Don't mistake my finding humor in this story for me condoning Tiger Woods possibly tearing his family apart. But much like any trainwreck, I'm in it for the lolz. Anyway, I left us with the first 5 things that damaged pop music in 2009 yesterday, which actually led to at least 2 thought provoking discussions about Lady Gaga. And now for the conclusion.


5.) Timbaland: WHAT HAPPENED? - The funny thing is, as of last night, this wasn't on the list at all. But, I had the dubious task of writing a review for the much awaited follow-up to 2007's Shock Value, the wisely titled Shock Value II. (And it blazed all the way to 5th....mmmm.) Listen, the first Shock Value destroyed me. Back in 2007, I told anyone that would listen, be it in print, or in person, that this album...THIS album would re-define the art of production in popular music. Timbaland? he's like a large, black Phil Spector (minus the guns and weird shit.) , this can't fail!

Well, Shock Value was not an enjoyable record. Yes, there were some gems. But on the whole, what we got was a sorely overproduced album with terrible collaborative efforts, capping off with a joke of a collab with Elton John.

Here's the thing, before I tear SV2 apart. Timbaland is an important cog in pop music production. For what will be coming up on nearly two decades, he framed a sound, and built artists. Really. I mean, ok, do I love Nelly Furtado? No. I don't even like her. But I own Loose. Because I'll be damned if the beat for "Promiscuous" isn't one of the best beats of all time. And if you think that adults would take Justin Timberlake seriously if it wasn't for Timbaland, you're mistaken. He's another Futuresex/Lovesounds away from being the new King of Pop. Tell me I'm wrong. But, Timbaland, after having a fantastic 2007, even with the SV flop, and a pretty damn solid 2008, vanished this year. This did two things. It left the toppermost of the poppermost void of hits with the Timbaland sound, the brand that he's towered over Billboard with for years. He produced on a mere 8 albums this year, and outside of his work with Chris Cornell on Scream, none of it was extensive. He struck out all over Jay-Z's aforementioned BP3, possibly offering up two of the worst beats on the entire record ("Off That" and "Venus and Mars"....Drake's infectious hook saved the former. The latter was beyond help.), and plodded his way through attempting to make Keri Hilson his next Aaliyah project. The second thing it did was expose us to just how bad mainstream production has gotten over the years. Yeah, it's front loaded, but with Kanye West and Timbaland not in the picture, well...you're asking a lot of The Neptunes. Producers like Danja, Polow Da Don, and Cool & Dre just had a hard time assuming the weight. They're like Pippens to Timbaland's Jordan. And for them, 2009 was that infamous "migraine" playoff game.

And Shock Value II , which I won't spend too much time on, is a disaster. It's Timbaland's heroic flaw coming to the front again, instead of working with the heavy hitters that he's aided, the Jay's, the Missy Elliot's, the ones with all of the best Chemistry, his ego makes him work with collaborators that he's CLEARLY better than. Just so that if he succeeds, he can say, "Look! I AM what you all thought!! I took Miley Cyrus!! Miley Cyrus!!! And I produced for her, and made her GREAT!!! I AM GENIUS!!!"

.....But, Then this happens. So, you're no longer sold.


4.) Albums Of 2009: The Best One Is......No, Wait, It's In Here Somewhere. - In short, I don't know that there was a great album this year. There wasn't one that towered over all of the rest. Now, is that bad? Not totally. But there were a handful of really flawed albums that were just "good" or "very good", which makes for a very curious state of music. I'd say 2008 had the Fleet Foxes record, TV on The Radio, and Gaslight Anthem....All GREAT records. Like, 5 star records. What album that came out this year is greater than 4 stars, if we're being honest? Look, I LOVE Animal Collective. I do. I still feel like Merriweather Post Pavilion is simply not more than a really good Beach Boys tribute album. REALLY good, but still, it is what it is. My number 1 album of the year, and I can share it since those of you that will read my end of year articles know this already, is The Dream's Love Vs. Money. That was my #1 album in July. That's not a good look. And yes, that's a great album, I wouldn't call it the best just to call it the best. But I can't think of another year this decade in which this would be ANYONE'S album of the year.

3.) Hip-Hop's Next Generation: Ummmm....Cool Story, Bro. - Well, ok, this was #1 for a long time, but I had some great discussions that made me scale back my opinion. See, I love hip-hop. I think it's easy to forget, because of all genres, I probably talk about it the least, but I know the most about it. I've seen the evolutions. I've seen Rakim fade out and NaS pick up where he left off, I've seen Jay-Z raise from the hails of gunfire that destroyed the genre in the 90's, I've seen Southern rap be re-defined, annoyingly at first, and then become comfortable. And now, We're at that place again. That place where the would-be greats are either getting older (Jay-Z, NaS, Scarface), Played out (Lil' Wayne), or burned out (T.I., and depending on the day, Lupe Fiasco.) So, in comes these guys.

Throw in Drake, not pictured, and those are the would-be leaders on the new school. Kid Cudi, Wale, B.o.B., Asher Roth, Charles Hamilton, Mickey Factz, Cory Gunz, Ace Hood, Curren$y, and Blu. Now, it's not that these guys aren't that good. But their output in 2009 barely made a drop on the radar. The Asher Roth backlash was hilarious. But it didn't really help. The Greenhouse Effect mixtape got decent buzz, but debut album Asleep in the Bread Aisle pretty much got trashed. Cudi and Wale did their part, both releasing albums that won me over with just half of a listen, and spoke positively to the future of where hip-hop could go. The rest? Cory Gunz spent the year much like he spent last year. Talking about how great his album is going to be when it drops, Mickey Factz left something to be desired on everything he spit on, I forgot Blu even existed, Ace Hood's album bricked, and Charles Hamilton got punched by a girl.

All things considered, we didn't break even. The good is, Drake will be fine. He needs to break free from the Young Money machine, and really strive for the creative control he so wanted, but he'll be fine. Wale and Cudi speak to that same point. But that can't be it. Mainstream hip hop needs artists to fill the Jay-Z void, it's how it survives. Underground hip-hop is fantastic because it can survive off of beats and rhymes alone, which is pure, and I love and respect it. But the mainstream arena needs THOSE GUYS that have crossover appeal, yet can still make the backpackers nod and smile from time to time. Otherwise, the over-commercialization of the genre will have to continue to appeal to the lowest common denominator. And I get worried that this is where we're heading if the under 30 crowd doesn't step up in 2010.


2.) Band Breakups: Teenage Girls Are Pissed. (Or, Ryan Ross, WTF?) - So, let's do the rundown. Cute is What We Aim For? Done. Louis XIV? Done. Danity Kane? Totally done. Laurie Ann Gibson doesn't bullshit. Cheetah Girls? Had to look it up for the purpose of this ongoing gag, but....yeah. They're done.


Now, of that group, the only one that even matters the least to me is Louis XIV, simply because Illegal Tender is one of the best EPs that I've heard in my lifetime. But there's two others that didn't TOTALLY break up...but....

So, first, Panic at The Disco splits in half. Ryan Ross and Jon Walker decided to part ways with Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith. And Brendon Urie, because I imagine he's a passive aggressive, whiny asshole, decides to put that stupid exclamation point back in the name. And now we've got 16 year old girls walking around with "Team Ryan" and "Team Brendon" shirts. Awesome, just what I needed to really spice up my August. But, yes, oh yes. This hurts pop music. Anyone that read any of my opinions on 2008's Pretty. Odd. would see that I thought it was a fantastic leap forward for a band that had a now-bright future. As long as the budding genius of Ryan Ross was recognized to it's fullest, since Ross was pretty much the only talent in that band, and showed that left to his own devices, he could do amazing work. I mean, seriously. P.O. was a good album front to back, a nod to classic rock, slickly arranged, with dialed down lyrics....I loved it. So, when I read that Ross had split to form his own band, The Young Veins, I was stoked.

But then something weird happened. Or, a series of odd things. First, Ryan Ross apparently woke up to a pile of cocaine, took a photo with it, and some questionably aged girls, and pulled the good old, "I have no clue how any of that got there". Which pretty much made the whole "Ryan Ross thinks he's a 60's rock star, but really isn't, LOL." thing make a whole lot more sense. And then I actually HEARD the Young Veins music. Let me see if I can describe it. It's like Ray Davies. If Ray Davies sucked. Ross can't sing, so it's really tedious to listen to, and despite his impeccable ear, he's no instrumental virtuoso, so the instruments often come off as clumsy, and cluttered. Mostly, look. Ryan Ross isn't going to win over the garage rock revival crowd after being in PATD. He's just not. And he's alienating all of the teenage girls who think that The Kinks were a 70's hair product. So, what? now The Young Veins are in limbo, at last check, they didn't have a record deal, and Ryan Ross is now going to be that brilliant young dude who screwed up, left a band because he overshot his critical acclaim, and he's going to rot in middle ground hades. Shit.

And what's worse, Panic's first post-Ross song....was pretty damn good. Catchy, great hook, Urie not doing his traditional over-reaching vocals....I don't think Panic is good for pop music long term WITHOUT Ross. And I don't think Ross is good for pop music long term without Panic. What a mess.

Lastly, as I'm sure most have heard, Fall Out Boy is on chill for a while. Look, here's the thing. I get it, man, I do. You do it until you can't fake it anymore, or until it doesn't mean shit, or until you want to kill each other, and you bow out. But don't play this "break" thing. I've got odds saying they won't come back. We've all been in relationships where this happens. And that's fine, I'd be sad, I've been a fan of theirs for the majority of this decade, even thought their last album was a peak. But I can take it. Patrick Stump has been the only talented guy in that band for years now, probably since the last song on Cork Tree , so whatever. But don't play the "break" game, Wentz. I can take it, much like Mike Gundy, I'm a man. But don't play that game with the young fans that you claim to pour your heart out for. Listen, I called this breakup at the start of the year, so I come out looking good. But the other day, I was sitting with my friend Courtney, a lukewarm FOB fan at first, and we're listening to their would-be swan song, the newly released "From Now On, We're Enemies", and she sighed, looked up and simply said, "You know, I was never THAT into them....but I'm gonna miss these guys." Me too, guys....Me too. Now sign me up for a fucking epic Patrick Stump solo career, right?

1.) Michael Jackson: If You Thought It Would Be Anything Else, You Have No Idea Who You're Reading. - I will remember the day when Michael Jackson died. Period. I'll remember where I was, all of it. I'll remember hastily writing a tribute before the death was announced, "just in case" (Poor taste? maybe, but come on.), getting a call from the best of my old time friends, Maria, in which she weakly asked into the phone, "Hey....umm....is Mike Jackson really dead??" when I responded that I thought so, she exhaled sharply, and simply said "Wow.....shit, man....I'm really sad." I remember writing this tribute, answering numbers of calls and texts, and finally just sitting back for a second, turning my phone off, setting my laptop aside, and thinking....'Wow. My generation lost it's Elvis.' I found myself sad, too, not because I knew the guy, but because if music as the soundtrack to a life is any indication, HE knew ME. Cheesy as it may be, it's true. If you were born after 1980, you got a glimpse of something magical, when you were still young enough to get excited about such things.

It's only right to close such a piece on such a not. R.I.P. once again, Michael.

(Tomorrow, we'll brighten up with the first 5 things that made pop music AMAZING in 2009. Tune in.)

10 Things That Made Popular Music Worse In 2009, Part I. (Or, Well, That Deescalated Quickly.)

Oh, so hey, RHT. It's been a while. While I'd like to say that I've been having as much fun as this guy, it's actually not even close. You can tell that I haven't had as much fun as him because I used the already tired pop culture reference of Tiger Woods to gauge my fun in the first place. One of my friends may or may not have kissed a cocktail waitress this weekend....That's probably the level of fun I've been having. Not daring enough to sleep with the cocktail waitress that is life (they don't make enough protection, my friends.)...but I've got no issue making out with it. Here's the thing, though. 2009 in music....the end is already upon us. And I've had to write a bunch of cliche' pieces about the "best and worst", which I gripe about, but also look forward to. If it wasn't for lists, I probably wouldn't even care about music. So, in a 4 day span, I hope to take a look at 20 events, trends, and occurrences in popular music this year. The first 10? The 10 things that made pop music an extremely uncomfortable place to be this year. I'll save the best for last, and starting out on a negative note is always ripe for humor. Here's 10-6.

10.) Lady GaGa: For the love of everything, I still don't get it. - So, alright, I'm usually not so brash as to cite myself. But remember this? You don't have to read all of that. Long story short, this is all Madonna's fault. BUT back then, I felt like, "Ok, well...this Lady Gaga thing is cute enough, and Just Dance, as far as pop songs go, is pretty well crafted...so I can live with it! yay for the torch passing!" Well, somewhere along that line, I feel as though Gaga took the torch from Madonna, along with all of Madonna's style, visuals, and everything she worked for, and then used the torch to light Madonna and her legacy on fire. Look, I've tried. I've listened to her records inside and out. I hear someone who has decent pop sensibility, a voice that they're not using to it's fullest potential, and someone that has likely been dumbed down by her record label. Granted I didn't grow up with Madonna, but this is swag jacking at it's finest. And it's so forced, that I honestly struggle to see how anyone can see it as otherwise. I'll give her cred where it's due, she's probably a touch of a better song crafter than Madonna, but she's about an 1/8 of the performer that Madonna was in her prime, and Janet Jackson, wardrobe malfunctions and all, would still smoke her. We're losing emphasis on the music, and when "Flat out weird as hell" gets mistaken for "creativity"....I struggle. I'm in the minority, which is why this is at 10, but I don't get it. I don't get the critical acclaim, I don't get the blind eye to misappropriation of past sounds, I don't get HER as the face of future solo female pop music. She's not "bad" for music either, which is why I can be a bit more relaxed in this opinion, but I don't see how she's doing good for advancing the state of pop.

9.) Kanye West: Come On, Bro. That Shit Was Ridiculous - I refuse to waste too much time on this thing, and I won't rehash it, and yeah, I got a kick out of all of the creative stuff to come out of this for like a month after it happened, but for me, a Kanye West fan, it just showed how out of touch he's become. I was sitting and listening to (2005 debut album) College Dropout in D.C. last week, and it made me sad to realize that he may never get back to that level again. Look, I'm not all for what happened to Taylor Swift. Her video sucked, I get it (sorry?....anyone offended? I would imagine not...), but if we're splitting hairs, Beyonce's video wouldn't even get my vote for video of the year, let alone one of the best of all time?? (Side note, I swear, Gaga just squeaked in. My #10 was going to be Beyonce wearing that dumb ass metal hand all year.), I'll take Ramona Falls' "I Say Fever" video over either of those, but that's besides the point. You have to choose your cross to die on, so to speak, and after the mixed love for 808's and Heartbreak, you get in the studio, shatter everything ever involving autotune, and put out the most focused effort of your career.

Or....OR. You show up to MTV's poor excuse for an awards show in what appears to be a button up trashbag, with Amber Rose in what appears to be disgusting, and hit the bottle with Pete Wentz pre show, so you can do something you'll regret tomorrow. Either of those plans would work.

8.) Tegan Quin : Still Not Into Guys. - Alright, look, I get it. This is selfish. I'm all in favor of her sexual preference. That said, Tegan Quin is awesome. I don't even care that she's pretty hot. She's also probably pretty cool, right? I man, how bummed is Sara? Sara's probably pretty awesome, but no one ever talks about her. The argument I'm making here is that me not dating Tegan Quin has really hurt pop music this year. Did I like (The Quin Twins' latest album) Sainthood? it was decent. The main critical weakness was the forced "thing" in which the twins decided to co-write songs together. Never a good idea. If I've got a band with my brothers, I don't want to write songs with them. Ever. I don't want to hang out and do anything musical. You have to cut a band a break at some point, and I get it, Tegan and Sara have had a bunch of really, really good albums. So, to have one that's just....decent, it doesn't always sit well (See also: Brand New) ESPECIALLY when you change the formula. You don't mess with the formula. I wanted Sainthood to be their crowning moment, but I suppose The Con will still have to do that for me.

If Tegan was dating me, this would have never happened.

7.) Blueprint 3 : Ummm. It Was Good. - Which, at the core doesn't SEEM like a problem. But it kind of was. Despite what the fanboys may say, and I border on Jay-Z fanboyism, it wasn't a home run. It was like a ground rule double, maybe, that brings in a few runs. Yeah, it's good, and it gets the job done, but you feel cheated out of a triple, or maybe even an inside the park HR, unless you're hitting to left in Fenway Park. Look, here's the thing. Jay-Z is going to have to stop. At some point, he is. He turned 40 last week, and he's going to soon be that dude that graduated years ago, still coming back to hit on the incoming group of freshmen. (If you haven't seen "Grind", shame on you.) And he has to end on a PERFECT album. Like, oh....wait...hey, remember that one time Jay-Z ended on a perfect album, like 5 years ago? Yeah, he's going to probably have to do that again. To be fair, the flaws on BP3 weren't TOTALLY Jay's fault. the production was plodding in spots (more on that later.), and while I think the guest spots were well chosen, a couple of songs, you were left thinking, 'well....couldn't he have just done this alone??', and the album didn't flow. American Gangster flowed. I mean REALLY flowed. And Jay-Z lives to mess with the formula, I get it, but he needed a game winner right here, and he didn't make it. He needs that Jordan vs. Russell moment to leave his hand up on the follow through, and bow out, finally. Or he's going to have a Jordan vs. Kobe moment, in which a new, young great passes him up. (Though I wouldn't count on that anytime soon, more on that as well.)


6.) The Grammys: Sucked Again. - I get what the Grammys are, at this point. Watching the Grammys is like watching 90's teen films. You pretty much take the really torn down, frumpy girl that time, and life has forgotten about, make her look really pretty, and shower her with awards, love, and accolades, while the cool kids and token black couple look on bitterly as they're passed over time and time again, and get literally no attention. And at the end, we all learn a valuable lesson from Freddie Prinze Jr.

Oh, and sometimes, this happens.

First off, I can no longer defend the fact that I thought that the above Jonas/Wonder performance simply wasn't that bad. Do I care that there's no way humanly possible that Nick Jonas was ACTUALLY playing his guitar? No. Here's the thing, the fact that to me, THIS was the highlight of the night tells you how much of a colossal clusterfuck the Grammys were. This year's torn down frumpy girl? Oh, that'd be Alison Krauss and Robert Plant. First off, Led Zep? Never won a Grammy. So, here's a concept that works. Let's link Plant up with Krauss and do a Bluegrass album. Look, I don't dislike the record. I think it's good, and I've got more than enough musical respect for T-Bone Burnett to get behind anything he does. But did I like that record more than Viva la Vida?? I mean, probably not. It's a lesser of two evils situation, as I could have done without Coldplay drooling over McCartney during their acceptance speech, as McCartney stared straight ahead with his "I'm going back to a time when I was in the Beatles" stare, but what the bigger problem with the Grammys is the inability to open themselves up. It's the lack of options, so we're left choosing between Plant and Krauss, Coldplay, Ne-Yo(??? WTF.), Lil' Wayne, and the obligatory critical pick of Radiohead for album of the year. What's the selection process for this, and I know Ne-Yo and Wayne are the tokens (there's usually one, but I did say "Token Black COUPLE" up there...), but you're telling me that The National's Boxer album isn't better than Ne-Yo's record? Neon Bible wasn't better than the Carter III? And I'm talking strictly quality and critical reception here. The Grammys are a machine, funded by a bigger industry machine, and until we get past that point, it'll be like the 2004 presidential election. A bunch of people just voting for the lesser of a handful of evils.

And Duffy didn't even win best new artist! What in the name of Wales?? I like Adele, and I'm happy she copped two awards, but Rockferry is a modern Classic!

(Tune back in tomorrow for reasons # 5-1 as to why there's no hope for the future of your children.

No, no, wait.....wrong article, I'm sorry. This one is about music.

Right?)

New Group: Band of Skulls

The following article appears on Spin.com and no, that's not Joey Ramone. By the by, these cats ain't bad.

When British rock trio Band of Skulls learned their song "Friends" would be featured in New Moon, the sequel to Twilight, they were shocked. Not because the movie's music supervisors liked it, but rather that they'd heard it at all. "We didn't know we'd sent it out," says singer-guitarist Russell Marsden, with a laugh. The unreleased track had accidentally been included on an advance of their debut, Baby Darling Doll Face Honey (Shangri-La) -- a gritty mix of guy-girl vocals, Bonzo-style drum bashing, and scuzzy guitar. "We were still working on it, but that was the one they wanted."

This wasn't the first time someone demanded the band's music ahead of schedule. Last spring, iTunes selected the Skulls' stomper "I Know What I Am" as a "Single of the Week" after hearing a rough demo. Marsden, 26, says he, bassist-singer Emma Richardson, 26, and drummer Matt Hayward, 24, ended up "doing months of work in a couple weeks" to finish things. The scramble paid off. The single was downloaded 350,000 times; the band played Lollapalooza and toured North America. Not bad considering the previous summer was spent gigging in the clubs of Southampton, England.

That town is where the band formed five years ago, after Richardson and Marsden met at art school. "I was asleep in the [dining hall], and he woke me up and started talking music," Richardson recalls. At the time, Marsden and Hayward needed a bassist; Richardson immediately signed on, despite not knowing how to play. Marsden also credits Hayward's dad, whose band Ten Feet Five once opened for the Rolling Stones, as key to their success. Besides letting the band rehearse at home and offering engineering help, he gave some fatherly advice: Hold off playing live until you're tight. "So by the time we had our first gig," Marsden says, "we were kicking it."

Sometimes, though, it's the venues that aren't prepared. A recent show in Brighton, England, almost got canceled because the band was deemed too loud. "There are only three of us," says Marsden. "I think they may have thought they'd booked a folk act." Called Band of Skulls? Not likely.